Thursday, November 01, 2007
nobody knows who i really am. ^^

whatever i guess this will be my last post since i don't have time to update this one anymore., just go visit my multiply., ill be updating that one instead.,

http://leapearl.multiply.com


JA NE~~

Friday, November 17, 2006
:: you and me ::

wla lng.. ni-tag ako ni darica.. kya eto..

Rules:
1] emphasize the line that apply to you.
2] tag five more people after you finish, complete with links to their sites.
3] let the person youve tagged KNOW they have been tagged.



i wish i was a different ethnicity. - actually gusto ko maging japanese.
i have an eating disorder
im short - grabe lng ung di angkop ung height ko sa age ko e..feel ko lng. :)
im tall
i think im really attractive.
i prefer winter over summer.
im a shopaholic
im reasonably intelligent
i am attracted to girls.
i am attracted to boys - yan.. lahat naman yta ng babae. :)
i like british accents
i smoke regularly.
i drink regularly.
i smoke socially.
i drink socially.
i get drunk easily.
i do drugs.
i will never date a bad kisser.
ive lied to avoid kissing them again.
im not religious but have morals.
i lie frequently.
im impulsive.
im hardworking.
im good at history.
i speak more than two languages - wish ko lng.. gusto ko sna english, pinoy, at jap.
i enjoy taking pictures
i like spending money on myself - oo naman...
i like spending money on others
i earn money on a job-by-job basis.
i rely on my parents for money - xempre.. wla pa akong pwedeng ibang pagkuhanan ng pera e.
i can cook.
i enjoy cleaning.
i like cutter.
my idea of good music is
ive heard of blonde redhead.
i enjoy blonde redhead.
i am fashion-conscious - minsan lng
i have a good taste - feel ko lng. :)
i excel academically.
im told that i have yet to fulfill my potential.
im good at sports.
im artistically inclined
i wanna be an artist when i grow up
i wanna be an engineer when i grow up
i eat when im upset. - chocolate pa nga kinakain ko e.. pmpagaan ng loob
i cannot adopt to change.
im interested to politics
i download mp3s.
i have shoplifted.
ive done underage drinking. - pero di naglacng.. inom lng ng super konti..
ive gone underage clubbing.
i can dance reasonably well.
i can dance extremely well.
i dance like a cardboard gorilla
i can sing
i sing like someone stepped on my foot
i can swim.
i enjoy surveys.
i enjoy surveys when im bored
i keep a journal - yah. meron ako. pink.
my teachers dont like me
i enjoy controversy.
i can be a bitch/bastard.
i have a thing for bad boys/girls.
i have tattoos
not sure if i want to have a children.
im not sure if ill get married.
i know who i will marry.
im interesting.
im a good liar.
people enjoy talkin to me - cguro.. makwento kc ako e
i annoy people from time to time
im a born leader.
i enjoy felching.
i have foot fetish.
i have a shoe fetish.
i dont think sarah jessica parker is pretty.
i wanna be Jlo.
i cut myself.
ive cut myself.
i hate people who pretend to be suicidal - sobra.. may isa akong kilala
i hate popular people.
i think cheerleading is a sport.
im photogenic .
i live in chucks.
i think graffiti is art.
i have dated a criminal.
i have been cheated on.
i have cheated someone.
i have a temper.
i like playgrounds.
i dance in the rain.
im obsessed wit shakespeare.
i have tanlines.
my favorite color is pink
my favorite color is black
i would classify myself as emo
im musically inclined.
i like listening to music
i like music
thongs are comfortable.
i like flip flops.
i know what monogamy is.. and i believe in it. - yah
i wanna be a social worker when i grow up.
i think south park is funny.
i believe in LOVE - no comment.


i tagged: arcee, aenar, jet-jet, pam, joyce

Thursday, November 02, 2006
:: i can't go on ::

Update. nyahaha.. after 10 yrs na tlga ako nagupdate e.. pasaway! aun.. dme ngyari.. perio, sembreak, halloween.. chuva.. :)

Perio. leyt na toh e..putek.. ang hirap ng perio. khit nga ung math e.. mahirap.. tpos.. ewan.. prng di ko inaral ung perio ngaun.. haha!! ung physics.. khit namn aralin un wla p din ngyari.. mahirap p din.. tpos na oras klahati plng nbbsa ko.. kalahati. puro hula na.. haha!! ang galing tlga.. tpos ung chem.. aus sna ung last part e.. kya lng.. mali ako.. kc di ko muna naibalance ung equation.. aun.. khit nkuha ko ung mga sgot.. mali din xa.. kc dpat i balance muna e.. tsk.tsk. pti nga mapeh mahirap na din e.. naku naman tlga.. ayoko makita ung results ng test.. bagsakan kc e!

Sembreak. aun..dpt baguio ule kmi ngaung sembreak.. kya lng di na natuloy.. ewan kung bkit.. syang..malamig na dw sa baguio ngaun sbe ng pinsan ko e.. tsk.tsk. tpos di man lng kme umalis.. lgi lng ako nsa bahay o kya sa bahay ng pinsan ko.. wla na akong gnwa kundi maglaro ng kh2 at tinapos ko na din ung fatal3.. at sa wakas nga e na-unlock ko na ung 2nd ending.. tgal ko na din un gusto i-unlock.. tpos nu pa bah?? aun.. nuod ako nung mga binili kong dvds.. ung movie ng fma at ung ouran.. grabeh..adik adik lng tlga ako sa ouran e.. kaaliw tlga.. ang gwapo pa ng host club.. haha!!! lalo na c hikaru at tamaki.. astig tlga!! sa paglalaro at panunuod lng nagrevolve ung bakaxon ko e.. tpos.. di pa ako pumasok nung monday at tuesday.. pasaway kc ako e..whahaha!!! tsk.tsk. ayaw ko pa pumasok.. sa december na! wee!!

Sayaw. aun.. kya ako di pumasok kc may praktis kme pra d2 sa project namen.. haha! buong section tlga e.. pero aus lng.. khit di pa kme tpos.. atleast may ngwa na din.. bukas nlng ung polishing churva.. haha!! sna mtapos na toh.. pra maglalaro nlng ako ule..haha!!

Concert sa Mary's aw.. syang.. di ako nakapunta.. mis ko na nga ung mary's eh.. naman.. minsan nga naiicp ko sna di nlng ako lumipat ng skul.. ayaw ko na kc sa kisay e.. mxadong pahirap.. eniweiss... di ako nakapunta kc nilibot nmin ung buong sm.. tpos sumakit ulo at paa ko.. aun.. chaka.. wla na din akog pera nung moment na un.. lagas na lagas na.. 100 php nlng ntira skin.. whahaha.. buti at nakauwi ako.. hehe.. :)

Bday nga pla ngaun ni Myra, happy bday!

Thursday, October 12, 2006
:: i don't know what to do ::

Field Trip. ay nako.. wlang kwenta tlga.. ang korniii.. kaines.. nakoo tlga.. kase naman.. nakapunta na ako sa gardenia.. tpos ang kasabay pa namen dun e mga bata.. parang nde lng kme hayskul e.. naman! tpos nde pa natuloy sa toyota.. tsk.tsk. ang panget pa dun sa monte vista.. nakoo tlga.. natulog nga lng ako dun sa bus e.. tpos dun sa monte vista.. wla pa mgwa.. naman.. wla tlgang kwenta tong fieldtrip na toh.. pinaka wlang kwenta sa lahat.. sna kxe nag-EK nlng e.. pra masaya.. tsk.tsk.. masaya lng ako sa bus kxe ksma namin ung curie.. ang ingay nlang lahat..

Projects. ang dmeng projects.. di ko pa nga nggwa ung sa math e.. e bukas na ung pasahan nun.. wla kxe akong libro at kopya.. sna lng ngwa un ni carla.. tpos meron pang boardgame.. dble.. kagrupo ko naman dun c nadia e..ahahaha!!! tpos ano pa ba? ung sa speech p pla.. nakoo.. tpos ko na ung script.. ung mismong report na lang.. pahirap naman kxe e... tsk.tsk. andaming pinapagawa sa SPEECH.. NAKAKAINIS!! buti nlng di na kme magsusulat next quarter.. tpos.. ung sa AP pa pla.. hahaha!!! di ko alam ung ggwin dun.. tsk.tsk. mdme tlgang dpt gwin.. kainis! dble lapit na naman ung sembreak e..

++++++++++++++++

ginamit ko toh dati sa speech.. dramatical reading..

Melancholy

I am destined to be alone and miserable.
To stare idly at nothingness; to fantasize about the impossible; to wish for things that can never be achieved; to hope for a love that can never be given.

To sit like a statue in the midst of darkness; to cry and yet not shed a single tear.

To be devoid of emotion; or at least be adept at hiding pain and frustration; to always seem to move on and yet in truth dwell in the past; to forgive but never forget.

To be ruled by fear rejection and yet foolishly try and try again to establish a connection; to fail at it; to try again, and again, and again, and again; and to disappoint myself each time.

To want to love and be loved in return, and find only emptiness and loneliness.

To have people think I’m crazy; and yet know that they just don’t understand; to suffer the indignation of having to notice every bit of ignorance, stupidity, and narrow-mindedness the world possesses and hate it; all the while grappling with the reality that I’m not so perfect myself.

To be fated to be loved only misery, melancholy, melodrama, and self-pity; to love a person who does not seem to exist; to put all my hopes, dreams, ambitions and aspirations on a person who’s probably going to let me down someday.

To bare out my soul this way because there isn't any other means by which I can express myself; to fill dozens of notebooks with unspoken thoughts; and to read them again and again from time to time just to remind myself how pathetic I am.

To be a dreamer and a realist at the same time; to ask myself questions I know the answers to; to speak to myself for lack of another person to talk to.

To devour romantic movies and relish each kiss, each dance, each song, each and every single piece of dialogue as if it were my own; and to know the whole time that such things will never happen in my life.

To believe in forever and everlasting love, and yet be given the complete opposite every time I do fall in love.

To tell anyone who bothers to listen that I see myself married to her; and then lose her; to say it again about another person; and lose her the same way.

To fail at almost everything I try to do; to be ridiculed at every decision I make; to have people I know make stupid jokes and hurtful comments behind my back.

To always be second best or less; to watch my dreams fade away into nothing; to always have to suck it all up and say “Shit happens.”

To realize that all of this is my fault; that I make myself miserable; that I choose to wallow in self-pity and melodrama; and know that I can do absolutely nothing about it, since it seems that it's the only thing I can do well.

Yes, I am truly destined to be alone and miserable.

Saturday, October 07, 2006
:: wla lng ::

Bagong layout. haha.. ang kyut tlga ni hitsugaya!.. nakakaaliw tlga.. :) natripan ko na kxe magpalit kc ang tagal na nung emily na l/o ko e.. ahahaha!!! kya aun.. hehe..

Wala na ung mga st. nako.. wla na tlga c ma'am.. tsk.tsk. pano na ung chem?? di na nman ako maki2nig nian sa chem e.. nakooo tlga.. tpos.. lagi ule ako aantukin sa chem.. tpos.. bababa na ule ung mga grades ko sa mga test sa chem.. huhuhu.. naman.. kelangan tlga nmin c ma'am..tsk.tsk. naman oh!!

Tamad. sobrang tmad ko tlga ngaun.. pramis.. ewan ko ba.. pero feel ko rin naman minsan macpag ako.. pero mas mdlas pdin akong tmad e.. whahaha!!

aun. wlang kwenta tong post ko. naman. ;)

Saturday, September 16, 2006
:: i've been losing so much time ::

Yeah. 39th Foundation Day ng Scientia. well.. grabe.. ala naman kwenta e.. ang boring nia tlga.. mas maganda pa un foundation day last year. haha!! tpos.. ang konti pa ng mga booths.. di tulad last year.. pero grabe un assassination, next level tlga.. sbe nga nila arcee nakaka-awa un mga inassassinate e.. haaaiii.. pero sobrang boring tlga kahapon.. un cheering ln un main event e.. uhm. speaking of cheering. panalo ang seniors.. tpos xempre.. 2nd juniors. 3rd ang o9, tpos 4th na un freshies.. sayang. di kme nanalo. ang ganda pa naman nun dragon. tpos love ko pa nman un red. sayang tlga.. pero aus ln.. atleast 2nd place kme.. may next year pa nman e..hehe.. may chance pa. c;

Battle of the Bands. yey! panalo chalkdust. astiig kxe nila e. nakakatuwa.. ang mellow nung songs na kinanta nla.. except sa martyr.. tpos un costume.. black.. w/ matching silver dust sa mata.. haha!! ankulet!! pero ang ganda tlga.. feel ko mas maganda battle ngaun kesa last year. uhm.. nga pla.. may kasalanan c mr worm. pinatigil nia cla bernice nun battle.. wla mn ln cla consideration! e mtagal kya tlga i ready un mga instruments.. err.. pero ala nrin mggwa e. atleast they were given a chance to perfrom habang computation ng scores.. pero unfair prin tlga..

Another Realization. uhm. aun.. ganito kxe yan.. kahapon pinag33pan ako nila ian. as in pinagtulungan tlga nla ako.. hmmpp.. kawawa naman ako. haha! jowk. pero dhil dun.. narealize ko na.. last na foundation day na nga pla un ksma xa. haaaii.. nung gbe ko na nga un narealize e. naman.. tpos.. sbe ko.. ngaun nln.. pero naalala ko.. ala nga din pla xa ngaun.. kya.. wag nln.. nde na rin ako pumasok ngaun.. haaaii. tpos kanina.. nabasa ko un diary ko. aun.. akala ko tlga ala na.. tsk.tsk. kxe nman.. ngyari pa un ngyari nun friday e. yan tuloy. feel ko bumalik. nakakainis. un mga tao den. haaaii.. un mga gngwa nila nkkpagpaalala sken e. tsk.tsk. kxe nman tlga!

Friday, September 08, 2006
:: i know the scars of yesterday remain ::

Update Atlast. aun.. after 10 million years tlga kxe kung magupdate ako e.. pano naman kasi ang daming dapat gawin.. alam mo un.. di na tlga kasya ung oras para sa mga gagawin namin.. at minsan na lang ng mga may ganitong free time para magupdate ng blog..haha!! kaya lulubusin ko na toh.. baka next month na ulit ako makapagupdate.. o baka sa sembreak na nga e.. hahaha!!!

Daisuke. tulad ng sabi ko.. bumili tlga ako ng cd ng DN angel.. pramis ko yan sa sarili ko e.. haha!! parang reward na din kasi nagaaral na ako..wahaha!!! aun.. ang gwapo tlga ni daisuke.. as in sobra..adik na tlga ako sa knya.. gwapo tlga!!!! baet pa.. talino.. at magaling pa.. haaayyy..

eto pichurs nia..












o diba?? ang gwapo tlga ni daisuke.. grabeh.. pag may nakita lang tlga akong tao na katulad nia.. cgurado tlga na magugustuhan ko un.. pramis.. naku tlga!! mas gusto ko na xa kesa kay itachi.. pero xempre.. special tlga c itachi.. labs ko un e!!!

Laro. grabeh..laro nlng ako ng laro ngaun.. xempre.. fatal frame 3 pa din.. adik na ako dun e... dapat matapos ko na nightmare mode!!! errr tlga..di ko matapos.. akala ko pag after ng hard mode.. makikita na ang ending 2.. di pa pla.. dpat pati nightmare mode pla.. tae tlga!!! cno ba jan naglalaro nun?? IM nio ako ha.. para usap tayo..

Happenings. madami mga ngyayari e.. as in.. pero ngaun.. di na ako tulad ng dati na sobrang ligalig.. ewan.. may certain na bagay na nagbago sa akin.. ewan ko kung ano un.. pramis.. kakaiba na ako ngaun.. mejo magulo ang buhay e.. di lang pla mejo.. MAGULO pla tlga.. alam mo un.. akala mo.. wla na.. MERON pa pla.. AKALA MO TAPOS NA.. HINDI PA PALA.. ano ba yan!! puro nonesense na mga cnsbi ko.. haha!! ako lng naman nakakaintindi sa mga toh e.. haha!! xenxa na.. minsan lang naman e.. hahaha!!!

Shock. in state of shock pa din ako hanggang ngaun e.. grabeh tlga.. iba tlga pag naka tadhana e.. haahaha!!! jowk lng.. bsta in state of shock pdin ako.. pramis!! well.. hindi pa naman tlga kasi nawawala e.. alam ko tlga meron pa.. kya lng since.. may something na.. aun.. di na pwede.. kaya aus na toh.. haha!! cguro cla arcee at joyce lng makakaintindi netoh.. hahaha!!!!!!

+++++

What about love?

I was driving to work this morning when the song “What about Love” blared on the radio. I have heard this song numerous times before now but I never really listened to it until earlier.

What about love? It’s probably the most overused and overstated word in the dictionary. There are far too many definitions, explanations and interpretations of it from people of different walks of life from a scientific view, a cultural view and a religious view.

The person who invented this word must me laughing his/her/their head off wherever he/she/they maybe, be it in heaven, hell or somewhere in between because his/her/their probably simple meaning of love became all this complicated. For all we know, whoever came up with this word may not even mean it the way we want it to mean.

Yet even with all this information, we still cannot capture its true essence. So what about it?

Love. We kill for it and because of it. We die for it and because of it. We cry, laugh, rejoice, share, and go the distance to get it, to feel it, to have it, to keep it.

I met someone, we shared a connection. Three months after, we moved in together. After seven years, he ended it. He said he doesn’t love me the same way anymore.

So what about love? You tell me.

I love the song but I hate the feeling that surfaces when I hear it.